Reacting vs reflecting

One of the most important guidelines I give clients in mediation is to always have a concrete offer on the table—something the other party can consider after mediation. The fear and anxiety inherent in conflict makes it unlikely that adversaries will reach consent in one sitting. Triggers derail our reasoning. This is true in any conflict, but particularly in family divisions. So it's critical to make a clear and concise offer as soon as you can and then allow time to take effect, for the other party to mull over the costs and benefits, how much longer they want to fight, and what it’s worth to move on.